So I'm flying to Kathmandu tomorrow.

“Why Kathmandu?” you might reasonably ask.

Well, I’ll tell you what I told my mom.

I’m going to ride an elephant through the Nepali jungle searching for Bengal tigers and the lost city of Shangri La.  I will name the elephant Theodore.  After Theodore and I do the whole finding-Shangri La thing, I will feed him a peanut, and sign up for snake-charming school.  It’s okay, new students generally practice with cobras who’ve had their fangs removed, so although I’ll get bitten a lot, I probably won’t die.  

In the event that I do die, let this be my final will and testament:

I leave Theodore, my elephant brother from another mother, all of my worldly possessions, including my entire collection of My Little Pony stick-on tattoos. 

Also, this is appropriate: